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Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Script - I'm Yours

You touch these tired eyes of mine

And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap you thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
I know I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours

¶ 3:14 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Pics Help Me Pretend Life is OK

ain't my boi dodgy -.-

¶ 1:31 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Have A Taste of Your Own Dissatisfaction

When will it be when you finally realize that too is just too much?

Your damn insecurity is the reason everyone walks away eventually. Now, tell me when did you become oh-so-high-and-mighty and have a god-like attitude to pass judgement when you see fit? It is total nonsense that you think you rule over us just because you feel the trill of being in power. And just so you think that you are controlling us...it's all going to end, don't you see? You have it your way when it is at your convenience and treat us like a passerby. Proclaim your love all you want, we already know that you do. But of what you that you blow your horn so damn fucking loudly for the whole world to see, yet treat us so unequally? Where did the I-love-you's and the your-so-wonderful's go when you are so bloody caught up in your own little world? I really hate to admit this but I damn well know that if I stay for much longer, there is no turning back for me; I am becoming too much like you and frankly, I don't like being self-centered!

Making me feel guilty for wanting to do very normal things that people do is bad. If I were God, I'll make that a sin!!! Is it too much to ask to let me live a normal life like everyone else and not lead an almost sad life like yours? How can you say you love me when you are too busy caught in the winds of success, the glory of ministry and the pitiful acts of your weakness, and then throw on a dramatic insecure act for everyone to see and expect us to pity you. When yet we all know so well who is the one suffering most. It does not matter to you if I did die of this sickness, it does not matter to you that if i grew up without friends and it does not matter to you if I end up spinster. It sure does not matter to you how much of a lunatic we've become. What a bunch of monkeys! All three of us! Yet you cannot and will not change your ways?

I have done all I can in my powers to do exactly as you could ever expect from someone in similar shoes as me! What more do you want?

All those closet to you you have hurt to the greatest lengths, just to keep those at an arms length to you happy! Truly bitter inside, I sometimes want to last out in anger and harsh rude words. But I learnt from your mistakes, and know that it can't change a thing; it will only hurt. So maybe I should go.

*sigh*

I think this hunger in my belly that I feel all too often could be more a hunger for an acceptance and freedom rather than food.

Like SERIOUSLY...

how many times does one need to repeat himself that you do not like my new haircut? Need you emphasize your fucking itch when you said it was getting shorter and shorter? I like it and its my head! And how many times does one need to repeat herself; trying to patiently explain to you the it is not MY fault that the internet is down! You get irritated and annoyed at me for a fault that I cannot fix? What kind of a person ARE you?

oh God..sometimes I wish you could see yourself and be soooo sorry for the hurt that you insist onto us! Yes we've hurt you too, but we grew up and we became individuals that anyone would be proud to be related to. Yet you mock us, deny us and see us not.

I am tired. And when I said I want to leave to "grow up", it actually meant to "grow out" of you. I hate to be away because I love you. And I hate to be away because it is a damn sacrifice for me and others, but of what choice left do I have?

¶ 12:39 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Monday, April 27, 2009

Last time I was here, it was end Sem 3. And now its well into week 2 or 3 or 5th semester. So much has happened but never did I bother to write it here. Everything seemed to be bleak..

Been in and out of the hospital countless of times, finally being admitted in for a week; this effecting my overall results of last semester. I vow never to get put in this position again, even if it cost me a lil more of my health. The shame I have to feel when I receive my result sheet stating that I have obtained only B+'s for both subject! Then a whole dramatic time of CNY and family dynamics happened. It ain't fun but its part of life, no? I wish we had less but..

Among other stories, that my brain fail to remember as of now; just the other day I was speeding along Sprint Highway and nearly lost my life...haha true to the name my friends call me; "gangster driver". I never like it wan some stupid Malaysian made car tires to show off and cut everybody's lane as if their car is of so fucking powerful. I'm not sayin that all M'sian made cars are bad. Im saying the attitudes of these drivers needs a check.

So along comes this sissifies purple Gen2 car behind me and he tries to be some sort of hero and cuts me from the left and races off ..wish he crashed! Being the most irritable person possible; got annoyed that he got in my lane and sped up to tailgate him...my mistake! It was the at the part of the fly over on Sprint where, when u turn right you go to PJ and if you go right you get on the Federal towards MidValley. So anyone can imagine how dangerous it can be. Speeding at close to 120mph on a curved fly over. Not very wise let me tell you!

My car ...skidded -.- And calm as a clam, in my head I was thinking, "Oh so THIS is how it feels like to be going into a crash. I wanted to know, now here you go."

Some miracle; must have been God sent angles who held my car. My back swung from left to right and I heard my car tires screech so loudly, I bet I left my mark! And could it be coincidence that I class had ended early that particular day and I headed home a good half an hour before jam hour, meaning no on coming coming traffic which could cause the potential of an accident to be higher. It had to be God's hand..of that I am sure. Getting out of such a fucked situation without a scratch on the car, HAD to be the hand of the supernatural! I still suffer a stiff shoulder...oh well.

It was a trill I must say. Sis says I'm insane as I happily tell her the story of the day. Thank God I didn't shit myself, as I was desperate for a dump!! lol

I guess recording life's exciting (my kind of exciting haha) is worth its while.. la la la....

¶ 11:39 PM 2 Comments Links to this post

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

SEMESTER THREE IS OVER!!!

It is overrr overrrr ovvvveeeerrrrrrr!

it was fun

it was horrible

it was stressful

it was good

it was wonderful

it was beautiful

it was ugly

it was a bitch

it was a pain

it was everything =)

ITS THE HOLIDAYS NOW

so FUCK exam results! nyhehe

¶ 3:32 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

SARAH LIM SHU YI turned TWENTY ONE! =)

Beautiful decor

beautiful celebration

beautiful food

and most of all

beautiful birthday girl =)

ps ; way back in Sept -.- now only i find the time to post up all the outdated pics

¶ 3:18 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

www.myfavouritees.com @ BAZAARS

So we've been running around from bazaar to bazaar.

Good experiences and much learnt from it all.

It always looks so simple to do these businesses; some even think small of it.

But the things we learn are really worth while.

Its much more challenging than I expected.

But through all, I had much fun =)

I likey.

¶ 2:55 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

BLOODY!!!

I feel like a STEAK! A bloody steak! =)

I lack Iron, so I deserve a steak, no?

BLOODY ONE PLEASE =P

¶ 2:50 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

PENANG!!!!

Finally! After 21 years; I go to Penang!

And I didn't have a blast.

But I got a new camera =)

Stoaked!

Did a tour round the island and had much food; but not from the streets =(

Overall it was alright and I will be going back for sure!

The best part (which is unusual for Penang) was the butterfly park =P

¶ 2:05 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Damn Blogspot!

ISOLATION aka Sexy Jessica Fang.

haha Photography in the 3rd Semester was fun

learnt alot and now I can use my SLR and understand it

final project was tense but all was good in the end

i expect not lesser than an A for this

Jessica did make the prefect model for my concept

Mr.Rubin liked it too =) and asked for reprints of 2 pics

to hang in his house? lol cool

but DAMN BLOGSPOT for not wanting to upload all my other pictures pfft

¶ 12:40 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Monday, November 03, 2008

THINKS THAT:

you don't care anymore

i'm not worth the trouble

your priority list has purged of me

¶ 2:52 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Sunday, November 02, 2008

It has been a long time since I last blogged huh. I have lost motivation..blah!

I don't want to do anything, except well, of course loose those few stones I've collected. -.-

I find myself finding it hard to move my lazy ass off the couch to do much.

Everything is getting more and more last minute; just the night before handing up assignment I start. ARGHHH..... I just want to scream and pull my hair out. I want to take a long drive and walk along the beach a night. I want time OUT! AHhh....I feel so frustrated!

And it sure DOES NOT help that the emotional is retarded. I hate it when people arond me say one thing but do another or do and asks things that they don't mean! Everyone is so pretentious. If only I could go back for a holiday in an overseas country; enjoy my regular cold beer and a cigarette by the beach with the cold breeze. I wanna do that for a month! Not see anyone or talk to anyone. Just travel and be on my own. I am so fed up of EVERYTHING.

I hate the complications of us and the lack of understanding.

Noone bothers to take the time to really care anymore; its all habitual when you ask.

You don't really care.

It's time I took care of MYSELF for ONCE!

¶ 11:04 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

MyFavouritees.com

Among the many other things I've been up too; been doing alot of fun photoshoots just for fucks. And also the business...funny stuff.

¶ 10:56 PM 0 Comments Links to this post

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

BORE US MR.RULY-CURLY-HAIR

So it was one of our last classes before the mid-term holidays.

And so I brought my laptop to college thinking I needed to study for P.S class quiz.

But I didn't! So bored as we were...when you put two closest friends together in a super dry class....we just misuse the camera on my laptop.

I mean...Mr.Ruly is worse than Mr.Daniel or Mr.Law..

actually there were pretty fun!

Mr.Ruly makes my eyes and ears bleed and pus!

...................................................

¶ 12:09 AM 0 Comments Links to this post

Monday, September 29, 2008

Hennessy Artistry ....

what a bore!

smoky, noisy, crowded.

there was even a gila girl in purple who had no shame! ahahaha

anyway..had a good supper with June and Simone afterward at Steven's Corner. Not too bad after all considering the long day Jer and I had doing business at Show In Pink.

So Shane Ward really left us all breathless; waiting like idiots all these people. And he wasn't even the slightest friendly!!! Then there was The Dey and Until June

Have no idea who these people are, but decided that neither they nor Shane was worth the wait and left to fill my tummy with burung puyuh and tandoors&cheese naans...

The lil joys in life when living in Malaysia!

Mamak even after midnight! Hot food and every

type of cuisine you wish for!

Good ol' Malaysia!